by tybmmjourno

There’s a reason no one can define Mumbai city. Nothing as diverse as this city can be defined as anything. The people, the culture, the places, the food, everything out here are diverse. It’s like an assorted platter at Cream Centre or a Rajkumar Hirani film; there is something for everyone.  There are as many rich bastards throwing away their father’s money as there are poor slothful drunk husbands making their wife work for their meal. There are as many sensible people trying to bring about a change in the system (any and every system, not just the government) as there are retards who will do their best to prevent the change that will help the people but empty their pockets. My point is, the city doesn’t belong to anyone. It doesn’t belong to that NRI who comes to the city only once a year. It doesn’t belong to those political authorities in their shining white cars and kurtas. It doesn’t belong to the chai walla who claims to know every person in the colony and it doesn’t belong to the hard working middle aged man who carries his lunch box from home early in the morning and travels by local train. The city doesn’t belong to anyone; it belongs to everyone. Fair enough, that brings diversity, giving birth to permutations and combinations between our species. Sitting in a girls college for the last 2 years I’ve noticed like this concrete jungle has various species … of the deadliest kind of creatures… Women.


Warning: Heavy Stereotyping will follow. No death threats please. I’m not insured; I mean I am, just not for how much I think I’m worth.


The Snooty townie comes to college in a high-end luxury car (anything ranging from a Honda to Porsche) walking carefully in her elegant shoes (anything ranging from Charles and Kieth to Jimmy Choo). She is daddy’s little princess and who is daddy? Daddy is definitely someone from the corporate world. Entrepreneur, CEO, Investment Banker or say a partner at an MNC, basically hard working, bossy and successful. Boys call her ‘High Maintenance’ but desire them the most. Girls call them “What does she thinkn of herself, Bitch!” but would love to be a part of their circle. Well, it’s not that difficult to be them as long as you carry your credit card around and know your wines well.


The Immigrants are well, self-explanatory. They don’t belong here, they don’t want to belong here but they are here for professional reasons mostly because Mumbai is you know… considered cool like that… They have come form small towns, and metros, and have been princesses in their own little worlds until they came here. Their best friends are their flat mates (ranging from 2-10) and they are constantly convincing their parents to get them a car so that they don’t have to commute through the terrible public transport and die everyday. Their feelings towards the city change every other day and they all hope to find a Ranbir Kapoor type Sid in the city to their own Konkona Sharma struggle.


Sandra from Bandra is from a St. convent some-christian-presits-name School located in Bandra, and suddenly she has been exposed to the wonderful world of boys and she’s enjoys their company. She loves her life. She loves shopping at Linking Road. She loves travelling on her scooty or in autos, or going to Candies at least once a day, and having the most atrocious pronunciations ‘men’.  More like these can be found in Bandra Gym on Sundays. Oh, well, they aren’t really that bad, they are fun. Plus they know almost all the restaurants in the city. Not exaggerating.


Miss Lokhandwala wants to be the next Kareena Kapoor. She’s come here to be a Bollywood star and will probably end up doing Ekta Kapoor’s TV shows and marrying her co-star. The Andheri boys all hit on them at the gym; little do they know they aren’t getting any unless they are a producer. On second thoughts I’m from andheri, obviously this isn’t me, but I’ve met so many girls like this, it’s not funny.


The Woman in a Man’s world is the last type. The career oriented one, who just wants to earn money and has a no nonsense attitude towards life, love and luxury. She will always reach office on time and always leave office late and her parent’s are probably going to over look all her hard work and get her married exactly a year before she can reach the top of the ladder. Guys like such girls; you see a.k.a marriage material.


I’m done here with my arrogant depiction of Mumbai girls. I’d like to repeat. Warning: Heavy Stereotyping will follow. No death threats please. I’m not insured; I mean I am, just not for how much I think I’m worth.

Avani Rai