The Curious Case of the Mass Killing Of The 90’s
By Niyati Agrawal
In a world shocking event that took place on 1st January 2000, an entire generation was killed.
As the world celebrated the coming of the millennium, the people growing up in the 90’s were mourning. The New Year brought an end to an era of good music and music videos, cartoons, sports, books, movies and a lot of other things.
It is reported that the process of mass killing started from 2000 and by 2010 it was completed. “A destruction of this level takes time; however it is one of the most successful world disasters that took place,” says Neha Agrawal, a teenager of the 90’s.
Y2K citizens are said to be the main suspects for this mass killing. Experts say that they were very spoilt. Too much globalization and economic progress had taken a toll on their better judgment.
The details of confirmed death and their accused murderers are:
Suppandi by MeMes: Suppandi was a comic character who appeared in Tinkle comics. He was the cause of laughter for a lot of children of the 90’s. These days the children enjoy Meme cartoons on social networking sites. The original king of stupidity – Suppandi is now taken over by MeMe.
Made in China: Made in China was regarded as the ever fascinating “foreign imported goods.” It was a rarity to own Made Not in India items. The excitement of seeing imported goods is now dead. These days everything is Made in China, everything is a foreign import.
Cycles by Segways: owning a Hero or a BSA cycle was really a cool mode of personal transport. They also were a source of exercise and a reason to play in the open. Coming of Segways – electronic personal transport allegedly killed the bicycles.
Captain Planet by Al Gore: Environmental issues were first introduced to the 90’s by Captain Planet (an animated cartoon series). In 2006, Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth took over spreading awareness about environmental issues resulting in an entire generation devoid of the awesomeness called Captain Planet.
Mowgli by Chinchan: At one point “Chaddi pehen ke phool khila hai” was one of the favorite T.V jingles of the children; and the Phool (Mowgli) the naughtiest boy known to mankind. “Chinchan Chinchan pyaara pyaara” took the height of naughtiness to a point of no return and now Mowgli is a very innocent child compared to Chinchan.
Portable 3-in-one brick videogames by Angry Birds: Those black or grey colour, comparatively huge yet portable, dirty yellow light screen with black dots where bricks fell from top of the screen were killed. The main suspect for this murder are animated colourful cartoon game on touch screens called Angry Birds.
SRK, DDLJ, DTPH, HAHK by BTW, ROTFL, FTW, OMG, GN, SD, TC: Need I say more?
The generation of books by TV: the habit or reading the likes of Hardy Boys, Famous Five, Nancy Drew, Secret Seven, Archie’s etc were brutally massacred by the rise of the idiot box and shows like Gossip Girl, the O.C, Sanjeevani, Krishna Arjun and so on.
Good music and videos by Not- so-good music and videos: The Backstreet Boys singing “Backstreet’s back alright” to Bryan Adams singing “Summer of 69” were burnt alive. It is suspected that the criminals behind this are One Direction and Justin Bieber.
Pop Music by Bollywood: Shahid Kapoor in Aakhon Mein Tera Hi Chehra by the Aryans to Bipasha Basu in Bijuria Bijuria by Sonu Nigam to Ayesha Takia in Meri Chunar Udd Udd Jaye by Falguni Pathak ruled the television screens. They still do but not by acting in pop music videos. They are captured by the upcoming of Bollywood. In the 90’s the songs were seen and enjoyed, these days they are rarely heard, seldom seen and definitely not enjoyed.
The 90’s authorities are searching for the above mentioned suspects. “The moment we get close to them they run away. They are very fast. We are trying our best of arrest them and save people from a disastrous upbringing,” says Nitisha Rungta, a teenager in the 90’s and a mother of two Y2K citizens.
Y2K officials remained unavailable for comment.